(Readers, please pass this on to new teachers and others who might be interested if you have a few minutes. I’d call this the first summer post for newbies.)

I found an article in my Facebook feed titled “24 ACTUAL Things Parents Said to Teachers That Will Make Your Head Spin.” The article includes “He’s only bullying people because he’s more developed than them” and other funny quips and comments.  http://offbeat.topix.com/slideshow/16097/slide1?no_cover=1

One comment stopped me, though. Can I call mom if I see her girl hanging out with boys?

Yes, I can. I absolutely will. Feel free to ask me. I may call you anyway.

I have taught middle school for most of my teaching career. Seventh grade can be especially hazardous. The year starts well. Marie is listening and doing her work. Then in November, Marie’s gaze starts scooting over toward Danny. Sometimes by December or January, I have almost entirely lost Marie in a seething sea of unpredictable hormones. Marie may break into tears if Danny talks to another girl in the lunchroom. She is likely to be distracted, trying to text him across the room if I am not watching.

When Marie skips class to sneak off to an empty gym with Danny, I am not doing my job if I am not calling home. One year, our middle school had five pregnant girls toward the end of the year. The nurse was beside herself. Another year, I ended up trapped between the social worker who wanted the abortion, the Catholic mom who did not, and the girl who wanted to finish school and was too scared to have that baby.

This post is especially for new teachers who are not yet calling home on nonacademic matters. I recommend you call. You might pick an academic concern — For example, “I noticed she has not been taking her book home lately.” You can use that as a focus for the conversation, slipping in that perhaps Marie’s interest in Danny is distracting her, causing her to lose track of academic responsibilities. Obviously, you can’t call for every little flirtation.

But teachers often see trouble coming before anyone else understands what is happening. Put yourself in mom’s shoes. You would want to know.