Apparently, an SUV full of teenagers crashed in Idaho after a 16-year-old passenger used a lighter to set the driver’s armpit hair on fire, according to the Ada County Sheriff’s Office. Fortunately, while all five kids in the Ford Bronco were hurt in the crash and required medical treatment, all are expected to survive the 5:30 AM crash.

That boy with the lighter? He’s probably a student in somebody’s classroom. Most likely, he has five or six teachers who see him daily. Let’s hope he doesn’t light firecrackers in bottles too often while he sits in school. I recall a student from my first year teaching who tried that twice. I’ll observe that Idaho boy was probably drunk and/or high when he had his brilliant armpit hair inspiration, but I’ll also observe that this young man may hit school with bloodshot eyes and a blank demeanor on a regular basis.

Eduhonesty: The problem with boys like armpit-guy is that too often nowadays we send them to the Dean for their various creative infractions, and the Dean then talks to them, listening as they explain how their sad home situation led to their latest unfortunate lack of control. They are returned to the classroom after they promise to never light a firecracker again. The promise and they promise. They make an art of sincere-sounding promises.

Skipping my rant, I’ll go straight to the point: We need more alternative schools. We need more alternative in-school suspension options. These boys mostly don’t belong in a classroom, despite our noble desire to save them from themselves. Rather than saving armpit-guy from himself, we ought to save his fellow students from his off-the-chain behavior.

I admit I am basing this post on precious little real data, but I reserve the right to be gravely suspicious of a front seat passenger capable of doing anything that damn dumb.