May 1st

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I think I like having a top-secret blog. I may have to reveal its location to someone but I’ll get around to that later. In the meantime, science fair work is almost over. Zombieland has zombie rules. I think I’ll create some Science Fair rules:

1) No forcing food into the blindfolded student’s mouth.
2) Be gentle when putting clothespins on noses.
3) Don’t even think of trying to open the spotty petri dish.
4) Try not to leave what you are supposed to observe in the classroom over the weekend. Some things rot.
5) If you are supposed to bake cookies, do not bring Soft Chewy Chips Ahoy cookies.
6) If I have to microwave the Soft Chewy Chips Ahoy cookies, you have to eat them. We have to do something to these cookies so you can write up your “experiment.”
7) You can’t have a sharp knife at school. Cut the apples at home. If you don’t, don’t whine about the plastic, serrated butter knife.
8) If you test the effect of a hot and cold room on classwork performance, you have to remember which assignment you gave on the cold day and which assignment you gave on the hot day. It’s important.
9) I will explain and re-explain this mysterious thing “the conclusion,” but at a certain point you just have to wing it.