December, 2016— Greetings from the Starbase! Last year, readers seemed to enjoy snippets from the annual holiday letter so… ummm …

Jocelyn and Luke Skywalker feel fortunate that the country, while divided in half, appears to have split into a bicoastal vs. central configuration that should preclude civil war. Last year’s concern with werewolves and vampires has been supplanted by political fascination. Who are we? Where are we going? We seem to have climbed on the scariest roller coaster in the theme park. Let’s hope that all the rails and nails on the Trump Ride will hold as we hurtle down toward a planet without global warming and with a warm, fuzzy view of Vladimir Putin.

In the interest of harmony, Ms. Q and Luke thought about ducking politics in this letter. Nah. Let’s go for it. Are the emails true? That question should hit the radar more often. What does it mean if Russia can read all our thoughts? Or most of our thoughts? Perhaps the valuable lesson of 2016 has been that our cybersecurity completely sucks. We needed to know that.

The regular death of Mark Zuckerberg and other apparent zombies – Zuckerberg sightings are everywhere – should be noted. Why were the pollsters so wrong? Possibly in part because few people believe what they hear and see on the news today. Zuckerberg keeps dying. Last week,Ms. Q and her squire watched a number of funny episodes of the Dick Van Dyke show on a major network after Mary Tyler Moore was reported dead. Apparently, Mary Tyler Moore is refusing to accept her demise, however. At this rate, America may become a land of zombies before we even acknowledge the outbreak. What good is news no one believes?

On the cheerier side, Mary Tyler Moore is not dead. Zuckerberg may not be either. His corpse seems remarkably animated. Chocolate production has been steaming ahead, while variations on the pumpkin theme invade food and drink everywhere. Jocelyn and Luke recommend Rogue One, Dr. Strange and Captain America: Civil War, among others. Fantasy: One antidote for reality and cheaper than drugs.

Having a rough day? Just say to yourself, “I am one with the Force and the Force is one with me.” While not foolproof, this formula should distract you. Next, say to yourself, “Man, I must be cracking up. Well, it doesn’t matter. Who cares anyway?” then repeat again, “I am one with the Force and the Force is one with me.” Etc. Repeat this litany until your problems have passed by or become so acute that the solution seems obvious. Remember that a Jedi Knight can run away and hide; if that path was good enough for Luke Skywalker and Obi-Wan Kenobi then it’s good enough for you too.

Sincerest belated wishes for a Merry Christmas and/or Happy Hanukah or whatever holiday readers celebrate from Ms. Q to everyone on Earth or in Cyberspace. Peace to everyone on Earth and Earth’s outer colonies and to all alien life forms reading this letter. May the joys of this season brighten your days and may you enjoy a Blessed New Year.

P. S. Apart from the strange portents for 2017, 2016 was noteworthy in another respect: The loss of Carrie Fisher and her mom reminds us to cherish the time we are given. In this and any other multiverse, tomorrow remains undiscovered country.