The happiest posts are always kid posts. So here’s a question from the Land of Substitutes: Who teaches elementary students to try to take advantage of the sub? The teacher’s plans usually say something like, “This is a great class!. Clarissa and Tom are good helpers.” A long page of details, sometimes with specific times, follows. The daily routine is often explicitly spelled out on the board.

Nowhere in the plans does the teacher tell me about the apparently regular 10 minutes of free time that students tell me they receive as a break throughout the day. Nowhere does she mention that she usually lets them go early to recess and gives them extra snack time. I am told the seating chart the teacher obligingly supplied is apparently seldom used. “She lets us sit wherever we want most the time.”

Clarissa or Tom may try to clarify.
“Well, she doesn’t let us sit wherever we want most of the time. But she does sometimes!”

I just stick to the plan.

“The plan says we do math until 9:30,” I answer. “I think we do not have time for extra free time today.”

P.S. A sign someone has worked in elementary education for a long time: An aide was explaining to me that she had to leave lunch duty early and I was in charge of her job. She then said, “Lunch ends at 12:10.” She looked around the room to see that the kids were behaving and the crowd was in control. To make sure I understood what she had told me, she pointed at the clock and added, “Lunch is over when the big hand is on the ten.”

I don’t think she even noticed what she said. I just smiled and nodded. Yes, when the big hand reached the ten, I would leap into action and flick the lights. I might even belt out the clean-up song. One perk of elementary education: If you like singing, you can always channel Mary Poppins and burst out in song.