Reader, if your anxiety is ratcheting up because of fears of learning losses. I am going to make today’s helpful suggestion: let yourself off the hook. A wise friend of mine brought this home to me in my teens. If you can’t fix it… If you can’t change it… Let it go. I am not saying toss up your hands. Lessons must be planned. Kids have to be led online, yours and the ones in your classroom. The dog has to be walked. But whatever your particular best effort is — that effort has to be enough, and it doesn’t have to be as good as your next-door neighbor’s effort, either. If Suzy Superteacher seems to have all of her students engaged and working while she tweets about how much she loves online learning… Well, that’s Suzy. We will always have Suzies among us. You’re entitled to have a few Invisible Young Men and Women in your classes, occasional crashes and even some spam. If you are in the classroom, don’t let Suzy’s mastery of spacing masked kids in perfectly aligned, quiet rows throw you off your game.

A tip for that absentee problem: I am sure you are contacting parents or guardians. You might try contacting friends, too. If Jamie and Christopher are friends, tell Christopher how much you miss Jamie. Ask him if he knows what’s going on with his friend. Can he think of any way you might help?

But don’t lose sleep. Don’t skip meals. Don’t spend all your waking hours trying to fix just one more thing. Turn on the TV and watch Lucifer or Supernatural. Carve pumpkins. Make bread pudding. Go for a drive to look at the fall leaves. Build a board game you can use at home and in classes. Brush up on your French.

Try “7 Mantras for Anxiety That Can Help Calm Your Mind Immediately.” https://www.boardandlife.com/mantras-for-anxiety/#:~:text=%207%20Mantras%20for%20Anxiety%20That%20Can%20Help,one%20is%20a%20personal%20favorite%20of…%20More%20 I especially like the one that says, “that cave is not meant for you.” You can’t go wrong with “Breathe in. Breathe out.”

Not a Marvel or DC superhero? Neither am I. Superheroes are thin on the ground right now and I think we are better off leaving them to battle giant robots. After all, the way this year has been going, I wouldn’t exactly rule out the arrival of giant Venusian robots — or even a resurrected Thanos. But YOU can’t fix those problems.

What can you do? Let it go. Do your best. Then go ladle out bowls of bread pudding while finding the remote. For parents trying to hold together online learning, I’d work on reading especially. Everything depends on reading. If reading skills improve, other holes in this year’s learning can be attacked later. Or not attacked. Freddy can always use his phone to find out who won the Battle of Shiloh. Teachers, shared lesson plans are probably your best friend right now. Buy lesson plans when those minutes simply are not there. Teacherspayteachers.com anyone?

Parents, teachers, and other readers, oodles of virtual hugs to all of you. We will get through this together.