A small snippet from the trenches: I was in the main office of a middle school when a vending machine representative arrived to tell the secretaries that his company planned to remove the only student pop machine. He wanted to talk with the Principal. Students weren’t buying enough water to justify maintaining the machine, the rep explained, although he assured secretaries that the pop machine in the teachers’ lounge would stay. Teachers suck down sweetened, caffeinated water in the afternoon especially. I’m sure that machine does a brisk business.

I’m not sure what to say about the loss of the only vending machine in the cafeteria. Since all the slots of the machine are filled with water bottles, students will not be losing any delicious, thirst-quenching treats. Students can drink from water fountains when they are thirsty, no doubt the principal reason why the water-bottle machine saw little use.

You can’t screw up allowing kids to drink water, but couldn’t they drink Gatorade too? A sugar-free version of Vitamin Water? Bottles of fruit juice perhaps? Or something, anything, with a flavor other than eau d’plastique?

Eduhonesty: I doubt most kids will even notice when the water machine disappears. If I had not been standing in that office, I would never have noticed. But I wish our kids were not so legislated, regulated, manipulated and redirected. I wish they could go grab a chocolate milk or even a Sprite. Would an occasional High-C or grape juice do them any harm? We don’t have to put Monster in these machines — but we might try noncaffeinated beverages with actual flavor.

Because if schools think the water machine discourages sweets, I disagree. My route home includes a Starbucks that I always skip in the afternoon, when high school students from across the street swamp that particular location. After a long day of delicious water, I can understand why all the many-colored frappuccinos are flowing out the door.

A long day of substandard organic food and water fountains has to make that Grande Mocha Frappuccino look like the answer to a prayer.